The loss of a loved one can be a very difficult time. Nickie Aven and Emma Capper are helping people with their grief and loss by leading walks in natural settings, giving them time and space to connect and share their feelings. Here, Nickie explains how the project arose and what it involves.
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These days it’s almost ‘trendy’ to talk about grief and loss, with books, podcasts, newspaper and magazine articles springing up all over the place. And then what? Talking is fine and good but what do we actually do with the loneliness and messy feelings of grief and what if the grief is long standing? Do we still have ‘permission’ to grieve? What if it’s for something other than the death of a dear one – the loss of a much loved woodland for example?
Born to grief
I was born to a mother with ungrieved grief and, from 2000 for 12 years, I had the privilege of working in a multi disciplinary centre for families dealing with life threatening illness and bereavement. I found the courage and resilience of those families deeply humbling and inspiring. Fast forward a few years and I am holding funerals and retreats, and another few years and I am burying both my son and my husband, 10 months apart. What got me through was remembering those families I had met and telling myself it was possible to find meaning again. But how?
Thank dog
I am fortunate to have a dog and to have to walk him. I am also fortunate to live on the edge of Dartmoor. The river and the woods became my friends, my solace and my resources. Here I could let my hands make patterns with leaves and sticks; here I could lean against the old beech and write out my grief; and here I could meet people and talk with them letting the woods hold what felt too big to hold alone.
Inspiration and dreaming
During this time I met Emma Capper of Creative Journeys in Nature (below) and loved her gentleness, her intuitive understanding and appreciation of the land and the freshness of her creativity. As I became stronger and joy began to reappear in my life, I decided to return to working with death and grief. In 2023 I launched a blog – Journeying with love, loss and a senior railcard – and also offered individual sessions; but with Emma’s inspiration, we dreamed up a group for people dealing with loss of all sorts. We would bring together my understanding of the territory of grief and her deeply rooted experience of nourishing wanders in the forest and creativity in nature.
Walking with Loss, Together
And so, last autumn, Walking with Loss, Together was born, part funded by local councils so that it could be financially accessible to everyone. We gathered in Ivybridge (in South Devon) in an indoor space to check in and meet one another, before moving into Victoria Park to open our senses to the elements and then we would walk in Longtimber Woods, beside the river Erme. Each week, 10 participants, Emma and I , walked with gentle intention. We might give our sorrow to a tree or gather natural objects to make a shrine in a nook, or write a 3 line poem which expressed the moment in nature through the lens of our hearts. And then, we gathered together, drank tea, ate cookies and shared with one another.
Connection
Connecting with nature, connecting to ourselves through the process of non-goal orientated creativity, connecting with one another in a gently held environment. It turns out this was an excellent recipe for improving wellbeing, building friendships and community and resourcing people to explore their feelings safely, with Nature as our undisputed guide.
So we’re doing it again. As the leaves turn colour in September and begin falling from the trees, showing us the natural cycle of things, Emma and I will gather every Wednesday afternoon for 6 weeks with another group of 10 people, wanting to find ways to be well, resource themselves and begin transforming loss into hope.
If this might be you, please visit our websites where you will find more information, contact details and a booking form.